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Saturday, March 14, 2015
been prolly a month since i completed my ipp. retail is closing at the end of march for renovation until december and i am back as a pt on certain days.

tbh i thought i will miss the place and the people. surprisingly, i did not. well maybe the people there yes but definitely not the job. having rest at home for so long, the thought of going back to ritz even for a day brings so much pain.

was so worried about my finance as i do not have any income if i do not work. (duh) started looking for any event jobs to work and after getting it and having such sucky schedule, i don't even feel like working. kept asking myself "why do i even want to bring so much trouble and worry myself? if i do not want it, then don't. no one is forcing me except for myself. my worries about money. i have savings enough for my penang and brunei trip yet here i am trying so hard for that amount of money that i am forcing myself to do something i do not like."

this is the last official holiday as a student. a holiday that no one can say anything about me rotting my ass at home. after coming back from brunei, its time for me to step into the working world. earning enough money to ease my parents' burden and save up for who-knows-will-i-ever-take-on-a-degree money.

future seems so vague. i cannot picture myself in the future yeah who knows what the future will hold? will i get a job i like? will it be good paying? will i ever be more than an entry level position? what job do i even like? can i take on responsibilities that i don't even know i can? how will i look in the years to come? will i look the same? will i find someone who love me as much as i do? will i be able to make my parents proud? will i get my degree? what will i be? what if......?
@ 9:14 AM