Floors underneath our feet are crumbling

是有那么一点点的失望.. But i know He will have something better catered for me.

Signed up for OIPP at langkawi resorts under four seasons group. Well of course it was peer pressure by tong and lisa that made me sign up for it. It didn't cross my mind once that i will sign up for OIPP but sigh once again i was influenced. Neither did it ever cross my mind that i will be signing up or even cut for four seasons cos linda lim has been telling us since the start of school that it will not be easy to get in and she also knows who is cut for it and who isn't. Of course it was too late to pull out of it when i realise that i didn't want it anymore cos linda lim already submitted our resumes. i was already told, or rather put down by linda lim that chances are slim for me. But i rly dky i still signed up for it. (maybe, hoping to prove her wrong)

Since our resumes were being submitted, there was nothing i could do but to do my best and give it a shot. It was a one-to-one casual interview. i already sort of know what kinda people they want. One who is passionate about serving, good impression and stuffs like this. It was really an informal interview. At least i wasn't feeling as pressured as the one for accor this time round. i thought i did fairly good. But i know i did not do my best. i did not manage to answer his questions, neither did i clarify with what exactly he was asking. Or maybe i'm simply not cut for this industry. Maybe he does not see any passion in me. So many maybes. i'm really curious what went wrong. Just what.

This is officially my second fail in my IPP interviews. One more fail, and i'll set new records for the student who only manage to get his IPP after three tries. Sigh, i can't believe this is happening to me. i mean, why can't we three make it together? why must i be the only who fails? why? we are the only three who went from my hotel class and i am the only one who did not get it. Srsly, is there something wrong with me? Is it my physical appearance? i mean i don't mind it this is my first fail. But sigh, i guess by now the whole class will know that i have failed interviews many times. Oh, did i say that i did not make it for my japan trip interview too? fml ughhhhhhh. i'm happy yet sad at the same time that lisa and tong gets a chance to go langkawi together. i mean, even if there is really no more interest in going, the glimpse of hope of passing the interview is there ):

Also, i don't understand how things can come just so easily for some people who don't try yet not for those who tries very hard? It just comes so easy that it makes me mad. i clearly know that i've put in so much more effort than that person yet all i got was nothing. The other person gets everything. i'm not complaining. But it just doesn't make sense to me at all. Or maybe that person is smart alright.

I will not be okay for now but i will be fine tmr. I promise. i believe that every failure is a step closer to success. I also know that He has better plans for me. Amen. I am okay, but not now.